a place to settle in...

i have moved four times in two years. first across the country to my love's cigar stained apartment. no matter how many flowers and pillows i stuffed into that place it was a bachelor pad through and through. having a growing baby in me immediately after i moved in...quickly ushered us out to our first house...the cottage. it wasn't really a cottage, just a small house. our bedroom was red and the back yard flourished with adorable flowers. i learned to bake and cook for a family in the large smokey blue kitchen. another bun in the oven ushered us into a larger house barely a year later...but after our girly bundle of joy arrived we were quick to see that the house didn't fit our larger family just like my two baby body didn't fit into my shirts. new clothes, new house a year later. finally, we find ourselves in the perfect fit for our crying, laughing, pooping, napping family.

this house is turning into a home. the warmth we felt when it was empty has been multiplied by hundreds as our couch and chairs reside now in its rooms. my bedroom is a beautiful and lovely sanctuary. the walls carefully and lovingly painted a warm soothing color. this house envelops me. this house breathes peace even when hungry mouths are screaming. the kitchen is like a feminine cup of tea...tailored to my desires with creamy cupboards and floral curtains. i can see visions of planters in the cement alcove porch in the back. jeremy and i drinking hot coffee on cold sunny mornings and enjoying our chimenea on warm dark spring nights. logan running around the back yard stuffing dirt and leaves into his pockets and mouth. kate making mud pies for our afternoon tea party. home is already brimming with love.

i am already finding the transcendent moments here. trying not to rush through my day but to stop and read a book to logan for as long as he will sit on my lap. making kate laugh after i change her diaper instead of rushing to do the dishes. peace in everything.

we are moving again...

You get used to a house. It's kind of like marriage. I am comfortable with this houses' love handles. I gave birth to my daughter in that bedroom. Just a few feet away. We had Thanksgiving and Christmas in that dining room. Our half pre-lit Christmas tree stood in front of that window. Countless mornings I have turned on that faucet half awake to make coffee. And in that very living room I have fallen in love over and over again with the man that I married as we cuddled on the couch watching our favorite shows. Under that chandelier we eat by candlelight once a week. The beginning of so many traditions, new phases of life, two children...

And yet we say goodbye once again. We will pack up a van, throw the kids in the car piled with our stuff. I will walk through the empty rooms one last time where once my son laughed and danced his little toddler dance. Not a speck of dust will be there to remember us by. The place where Logan scribbled on the wall will be painted over, the frame of our family picture will be replaced with strangers. I will say goodbye as I lock the door one last time.

We will make our new house a beautiful nest. Have more babies in it's bedrooms. It feels warm and welcoming. A new corner for our family. Our life seems to have been in fast forward since the day Jeremy and I met. We had so much time to make up. But now that we have two babies to love and nurture and a place to settle down, it's time to stop and listen. Make slow simple memories and enjoy stuffing that house to the brink with memories, happy times, sad times, our times.

Goodbye house with the blue walls, the paint chipping in the bathtub, book shelves that even we couldn't fill...we have loved you but we've moved on. We hope you do too, quickly.