More Eharmony advise from a sucessful non-expert

I get asked for eharmony advise frequently...so I keep the passionate words for my blog. :)

I wouldn't worry so much about any matches that don't work out. Obviously, they are not a good match for you and the Lord is closing the door quickly. Which is a great thing! I think it also might mean you are being honest and being yourself (or email isn't a great way of communication for you, but I doubt that). I can imagine that your intelligence and your job intimidate a lot of men...but that isn't a bad thing! You don't need to hide who you are or what you do because the right man will NOT be intimidated! I'm sure the right man will intimidate you a little! :) I would recommend that as you discover things about yourself and what you want that you update your profile until it is attracting the kind of man that you really are compatible with...not that you lie but it is just a computer that needs human help. For example, I didn't want to marry a man who was the normal Christian type...you know the ones who answer, "Jesus is my best friend. My favorite book is the Bible. My Dad is my greatest hero." NOT that those are bad things, I want to know that Jesus is your best friend because you have friends who look like Him and you act like Him toward them. I want to know that you have a faithful and loyal heart by the fact that you can develop and maintain close and deep relationships. So as you can see, the Jesus is my best friend answer doesn't cut it for me. I made sure my profile reflected who I really was and what I really wanted. I also didn't hesitate to delete matches quickly...if I could never be attracted to someone I just ended it right there. It sounds harsh, but could you marry someone who wasn't attracted to you? I didn't think so. :) Same goes for if they were the super outdoorsy type! Oh man, I could not marry a full time camper! Jeremy says the most important quality to look for it that you both have common interests! Not all of your interests have to be the same, but generally for a marriage to be wonderful you have to enjoy the same type of life! Jeremy and I both love to eat out, drink beer, watch movies, dress up, listen to music, have close friends, read, raise children...you get the picture. How you want to spend your evenings needs to be the same. I don't want to watch sports every day, or have people over at our house every evening. I also couldn't have married someone who never wanted to leave the house...I need date nights with a man who enjoys them!

crying feels like the rain

I'm not sure why a good cry feels so good now and then...is it just a burst of emotion that can't be expressed any other way? I don't cry as often as I would like to. I had a good cry this morning. It feels like my heart has been rained on. Don't ask why, it isn't important...and I am still enjoying the smell of fresh rain on the pavement. Ok, well I guess this will give it away. Jeremy and I had a miscommunication...my feelings were hurt...he was disapointed...girls make things really complicated with all of the insecurites and emotions that we bring into EVERY situation. I guess why the cry felt so good is because we had a beautiful reconciliation. We rarely fight (it's even hard to call them that because it is usually an emotional discussion...there needs to be a better word for that)...but we didn't used to have great reconciliations. One of us would just bow out and give in....we took turns. A couple of months ago we had a great break through where we learned how to reconcile one to another. It is beautiful....it almost makes the miscommunication worth it. So, today there was no giving in to the other to get the discussion over, we communicated and expressed our point of views...accepted the others...apologized for our own faults...and moved on. He hugged me and affirmed me (hard for most guys to do when discussing). I melted in his arms and now feel more in love with him than yesterday. He is a good man and one who exemplifies such wisdom...this verse reminds me of him and is a reminder to me:

...but the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere... james 3:17

A great quote!

sky painting by alecsander

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•☆.｡.•*✿ “The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•☆.｡.•*✿


That is so true of me! I am very satisfied in life. I love living almost every day...but there are times when I struggle to be "happy." When I read the above quote off of one of my friend's facebook pages...I felt like there was a bell going off in the room! I ALWAYS see the past better than it was...I tend to see the present in a slightly dimmer light than is real and until I married Jeremy the future seemed like it would never change into something better. Marrying a complete optomist has helped and the stability he brings to my life makes a world of difference! BUT, I'm still going to post this on my fridge. I think it's a great reminder!

Part of who I am

So, stepping out into the world of people and intimacy I went to a Women's "Bible study" yesterday. I quote Bible study cause we aren't reading the Bible. We are reading Beth Moore's new book (which is great...I don't like her old stuff and I love her new stuff since 2002 I think). Yesterday we just did the get to know one another thing...there are 8 women including the leader (there are several groups) so it is small enough to be real if we want. In two hours a cold little conference room (with no kleenex) was transformed into a home for our hearts quite quickly. I haven't seen that happen very often. When it came to my turn to share...I shared what is happening in my life right now...as the circle finished the Lord was speaking something to my heart. I am who I am today, but all that I have been through makes up my story. My story did not start a year and a half ago when I got married...or 7 months ago when I had a baby. I feel like I have been accustomed to lopping off parts of my life. My drug addicted mother abandoned us to my wonderful Father...LOP. Crap hits the fan in Idaho before I leave...LOP. I am not talking about reigniting fires (or relationships) that have gone out...but it does contribute to who I am today, and I need to accept that. It could be painful. No, it will be painful to accept parts of my story that I would rather not tell people...but watching women in that group yesterday expose their wounds ministered to my heart. I need all of my wounds, even if they have been healed to minister the love of Jesus to other people.

The picture really doesn't have much to do with my post. I just liked it.

Tax Man! Ten weeks to go!

Here we go again! Tax season has officially started. If you don't know what my husband does...prepare yourself to be amazed. He gets paid to get people more money from the government. No one believes a wife when she says how wonderful her husband is at his job...isn't that our job? To say nice things about them? Fine then, don't believe me and do your own taxes, and get way less money than if he did them. Or better yet, pay The Block to do them and still get way less money back. He just did an offer and compromise for someone who owes over 80 thousand dollars to the IRS. He is seriously the bomb. This isn't a plug to get him more clients (but if you want to use him, give me a ring). It's just to brag...that he's amazing and I am so proud of him. He works his butt off at work all day for everyone else and then apologizes for getting home so late, picks up dinner and movies-and still comes home with a smile. If I were him, I would demand a beer and go to bed, taking license to be grumpy the entire time. He's such a trooper.

So here's how tax season goes for us...Jeremy works till 8, 9 or 10 every day (except Sunday...he still takes that off)...that's when he's home. When he goes out of town (cause it's a traveling tax team?) he works from 8 to 8 and sometimes later. In addition to that he spends a lot of his free time doing taxes for his friends, family and personal clients. I really have no clue how we survived this last year...being newly married, and pregnant! Kind of relieved that year is over! He gets such joy out of serving his personal clients...not only because they pay him...but becuase he loves helping people. He amazes every client he has ever had and continues to do so. Sure, sometimes he can be a little hard to get ahold of...but that's where I come in. I am now checking his messages every other day and his clients are welcome to call me if they have any questions! So, here's to this years even more successful tax season! If you want to use his services, let me know! Or if you have an embarassing or tough situation...nothing surprises Jeremy, he's seen it all!

Expectations (from October)

I write for my own benefit...I have 30 filled journals in the garage. I have no idea what I am going to do with them. Before any of my kids can read, I need to hit them all with a black sharpie!

It's finally October. I just had my 28th birthday and if you are one of my close friends you'll know that I hate my birthday. It became easy to just hate my birthday because I had so many bad ones. Now if I have a bad birthday...it's not a disapointment...it's expected! You would think that if you believe in the power of positive thinking (I have my doubts..haha) this fact would secure for me bad birthday's forever. But it doesn't! When I have a good one (which I did this year...thank you honey!) it's even more wonderful than if I had expected to have a great one. I do the same thing with movies. Before I see a movie, I set my expectations really low...that way there are only two options: my expectations are met (it's bad) or my expectations are exceeded (it's good). It is very important to pick and choose how you play this game. If I expect that Jeremy will be a bad husband, I am doing him a disservice by not trusting him and believing in him...but if I expect him to be unrealistically perfect at husbandry...you see the problem. I guess it all comes down to levels of importance....is it important that I have a great birthday or that a movie changes my life? Both are nice, but unimportant. Is it important that Jeremy be a wonderful husband and that Logan be a good boy? Very much so, therefore I can set the bar high...believing in people is the begining of them reaching for the stars themselves! It has recently become apparent to me again that our life is full of expectations...and how flexible we are with those expectations helps determine our happiness. I feel like I'm stating the obvious and that every one who reads this will roll their eyes.