So, stepping out into the world of people and intimacy I went to a Women's "Bible study" yesterday. I quote Bible study cause we aren't reading the Bible. We are reading Beth Moore's new book (which is great...I don't like her old stuff and I love her new stuff since 2002 I think). Yesterday we just did the get to know one another thing...there are 8 women including the leader (there are several groups) so it is small enough to be real if we want. In two hours a cold little conference room (with no kleenex) was transformed into a home for our hearts quite quickly. I haven't seen that happen very often. When it came to my turn to share...I shared what is happening in my life right now...as the circle finished the Lord was speaking something to my heart. I am who I am today, but all that I have been through makes up my story. My story did not start a year and a half ago when I got married...or 7 months ago when I had a baby. I feel like I have been accustomed to lopping off parts of my life. My drug addicted mother abandoned us to my wonderful Father...LOP. Crap hits the fan in Idaho before I leave...LOP. I am not talking about reigniting fires (or relationships) that have gone out...but it does contribute to who I am today, and I need to accept that. It could be painful. No, it will be painful to accept parts of my story that I would rather not tell people...but watching women in that group yesterday expose their wounds ministered to my heart. I need all of my wounds, even if they have been healed to minister the love of Jesus to other people.
The picture really doesn't have much to do with my post. I just liked it.
I like it too (the pic). And I like your perspective. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to read that you enjoyed your "bible study". I remember doing a Beth Moore study back when I was going to church...something I would definitely like to do again.
ReplyDeleteI admire the the courage with which you pursue Joy, no matter what you have been through or who will or won't make the journey with you. It reminds of something I read from Lewis...
ReplyDelete"Either the day must come when joy prevails and all the makers of misery are no longer able to infect it: or else for ever and ever the makers of misery can destroy in others the happiness they reject for themselves. [You] will not call blue yellow to please those who insist on having jaundice, nor make a midden of the world's garden for the sake of some who cannot abide the smell of roses."
You are always growing no matter the cost. Know that you are never alone! :)